More than a heart

-Vatsal Khullar

A few strokes of blood

Transformed the canvas,

From Holy white to Dark,

For all that flowed was not in vain,

It had taken with itself, ages of pain.

Splashes of blood is all what it seemed,

But much more for me,

It was the axis of adversity,

The Pole of agony.

Those years when my heart had seethed,

Stood all there in colour.

Far away, like the Solitary Sun was I,

All vibrant but up, alone in sky.

I looked around, not a friend or foe,

Yearning alone for a pebble to throw.

The Profound pounding heightened,

Emotions spilled out.

The evil was untenable,

An injured heart had called out.

A heart yearning for love had got,

A companion it had always visioned and thought.

An unmatched match, and emotions deep
It was undoubtedly, a giant leap.

The Sun had fallen in love with the Orb of night.

Blaze went after moonlight.

A unison was out of bounds for sure.

Could a heart ask for more?

Bereaved lay the victim of love.

Another heart had fallen for a heartless snub

A dream was shattered, a hope was killed,

The joy of bonding, shot up and nilled.

The clock struck on,

And time passed,

Moments later, the heart thumped its last,

Lay motionless a corpse, with eyes open wide,

In hope of getting one last sight!

Leaving incomplete a shapeless wish,

The solitary heart that weeped.

A Toast!

Goodbye to you my trusted friend

We’ve known each other since we were nine or ten

Together we’ve climbed hills and trees

Khuller Sahib! Well. Every time that you went abroad before this was for a vacation and you would come back in a few weeks. But this time it isn’t the same. From now onwards, you shall be coming back to India for a few weeks, like you would for a vacation. So, I just felt like writing this.

Our friendship is as old as we are, and I think, not many as old as us, can boast about such a close friendship that is 18 years long. We’ve been friends with each other, even before we learnt how to crawl :P

You just delayed your trip by one day because of Hurricane Irene. That was what Nature had sent to disturb US. Well, what we're sending in from here is exponentially worse than Irene. Don't let me down now. Ours might not be Irene but its (V)Iren for sure.

Wahan jaake bechara Non Veg kha kha ke bore ho jayega. Mujhe pakka pata hai ki tu Dominos, McDonalds aur KFC ko toh pakka yaad karega! Bechara Om hotel wale ka Butter chicken ab kaun khayega? Honey Chicken kaun khayega? Mere haath ke baney super duper, yummy, delicious, tasty, juicy, sinful rolls kaun khyega? Nizamuddin ki murgiyan sadak pe bavri hoke Viru, Viru chilayengi! Tu mujhe yaad kare na kare, un masoom Roomaliyon ko zaroor yaad kariyo so haste haste tere liye shaheed ho gayin! :P

Ab toh Sirji ka 18th birthday bhi aa raha! So, you are going to be a BIG BOY now! Ab toh tu khud se khana bhi kha leta hai, raat ko bed pe susu bhi nahin karta! So you are a big boy in true sense of the word! Well, its been quite unfortunate for you for not being able to celebrate your birthday properly in India for so long. Either it was CBSE or rains or DPS which kept you away from celebrating. I'm sure this year you'll make up for all those lost years by opening a lot of bottles. I insist that you drink 2 extra bottles just to remember your soon to be 18 buddy, far away in India.

When I write this, I just cant stop myself of being reminded of our days as toddlers when we use to crawl, then we started walking, you taught me how to cycle on your blue colored as a responsible elder, how we both used to meet everyday(though we still do, but not for long), your obsession for getting photos clicked at one point of time. Well, you may not remember a lot of things but somehow, my memory is good when it comes to all these things. I just cant forget how you always vomited after drinking Fanta. That was something that ran in the family.  

My evenings, outings and movies are going to drastically fall down once you leave. Next years IPL, this years Grand Prix, Vir Das' show, Kathak by Birju Maharaj,etc. are surely going to miss two of their loyal audiences.

I would like to wish you centuries of success, fame, good health, prosperity and tolerance. I hope we continue to be as close as we are. I look forward to seeing you in December. Hopefully I might see you in US next year too. If not as a student then I would surely come to meet you. I would always pray to god that I predecease you as your one friend I would never want to lose. Lots of love and wishes from me. You shall be greatly missed.

Don't forget to send me a Rakhi every year, Didi! As Vidit says, Shaadi karke mat aaiyo, aur karni hogi toh Ladki se hee kariyo. Don't forget to give Andrew a tough time ;) I'm sure he's going to call us in India in another 15 days. Well no friend is as great as I am who can tolerate you for 18 years *BOW* 

A toast to our friendship! Cheers!

The Darker Side

How to disturb a mind at peace? Ever heard about something like this? Well, if you haven't then your at the right place. That's because, I think no one specializes in this art, better than I do.
I'm updating my blog after so long and it pains me to start with something which has been disturbing me for so long so I thought venting it out over here would help.
My attempts to reconcile with myself have proved to be futile and this post is just going to be a spontaneous flow of emotions. You might just happen to find your computer screen wet!
The past few weeks have been distressful with a lot of things happening and people starting to find my normal behavior hostile. The ones who know how I am have been getting offended by my jokes. I have been at fault at times but sometimes I myself am unable to rectify what error have I made.
Most of the times I say things which I don't mean in a fit of rage or in a comical mood. I never mean any of that. Bear with me but its a habit that I'm trying to change.
My sorry's have almost become ubiquitous but those mere words do not let me get over my guilt. I may not be at fault, but the very fact that I had a misunderstanding with some is enough to start the cycle of self blaming and remorse in my mind.
I may look like a beast but I am still a human. I can at times err. Its a request to all the people to please not keep anything against me. In case they've been hurt or they wish to convey something, please come up to me. I love criticism. Don't let any of my acts change the way you think about me. That's my greatest fear.
And the recipe to disturb a tranquil mind is to make or not a mistake, have a small fight and then keep thinking about that until your drained of all your energy and fears like an end to the friendship start hogging your mind, body and soul.
I have a deep feeling of possessiveness who are close to my heart and I become very sensitive.
By the end of my transformation process, I think I'll become someone sans humor, sans soul, sans mind and only my brain to calculate my next step. That's something I would hate to become but I think, that is what the other social animals want me to be.
This post is no farce and all this actually puts me under a lot of stress. I have actually started wonder how will I ever be able to co-exist with my life partner.
I once again apologize to anyone and everyone who've been hurt by me. 

Tide of the Night

-Vatsal Khullar

O Lord! Descend! Descend! Descend!
Present me the cloak of darkness
And seize from me the agony
Conceal with you, my encounter with defeat
Put me to sleep as night falls
For under thy bosom, I feel no harm
The confluence at dusk,
Comforts me with the transition,
Into tranquility that shall timidly walk in.
The all pervasive  silence shall disperse itself in all directions,
And composure like the Bodhi, sullen the ambiance. 
As the world engrosses itself with the fallacy of worlds beyond stars
I light the fire,
For the embers shall be my friend for the night.
The crackling reassures me that I'm not alone.
Under the divine light of the moon,
I see my silhouette.
I hear the stars whisper my name.
They inspirit me with a promise,
That the sun shall bring warmth along,
Which is best enjoyed after a cold winter night.

Don't wait,It may be too late

-Vatsal Khullar

Lying down on the beach sand,
My gaze set upon the horizon.
I thought, there existed a world beyond the union
A world unknown to me,
A world unventured by me,
What was it like?
Why couldn't I ever look beyond my shell?
Cornered by such questions,
I set out on a journey.
It was one sans path,
It was one which would build the path
I never cared for those who lived beyond my vistas
But It was me was their focus,
In whose hearts, I throbbed.
My expedition could've been fruitful
But it was a little too late.
It was time for me to go,
Go without the last few words that could change lives,
The words which were more than just words.
I couldn't say the final goodbye,
As I saw them sobbing,
Not the ones I lived for,
But the ones who lived for me.
I stretched out my hand, 
But all I could find was emptiness in the air.
Something was lost,
I was lost .
That is all that I remember of them.


Courtesy: Boredom

My Experiments with Food-Kyonki Hum Desh ke liye Khaate hain

Disclaimer: This is not a sequel written by 'Note wale Bapuji'.
Hello Forks and Knives.Ironically enough, I started with a mention of Gandhiji who barely ate anything(With all his fast unto deaths and calculated meals) in a blog about Food. Woaahh!!
I'm sure this post would be one which will be close to My stomach and the tummies of those who'll someday eat food made by me. After writing a blog post about my obesity, next up is the reason, FOOD!
Before I go into the details, a small tribute to the writer. Basically people fall in love with me at their first site. I'm so handsome, dashing and smart. Who wouldn't love me even if I carry a pot (belly) with me. For those of you who don't know, I'm an aspiring chef. I love to eat and cooking is even more fun.
Though, foodies are generally 'Masahari', I for a change am a 'Dimaaghari'(Veg+Dimaag). Yummy brains haan. Ekdum *slurp* *slurp* *slurp* That's quite a PJ, lets just settle on 'Shaakahari'
But what I cook is yummier than brains. At least the people say so. The ones who don't, do not live to taste anything else. I love to experiment with what I cook(Once I made a coconut based Pasta). I can make a decent Thai Curry, Cup Cakes, Cakes(with and without icing), Souffle,  Pasta, Garlic Bread and the list goes on for another 100-200 pages. That's how equipped and trained I am.
As I child also, I was very fond of cooking and hence joined the Home Science club. I face the repercussions till date. People still tease me because I was the only boy. Teachers still come up to me and say, "Oh, this boy has come such a long way from serving tea to guests". My Principal once told me after I'd conducted a quiz in school, "When I saw you in the refreshment duty, I never though you had so much talent". How encouraging(not).
The reason why I think I'd love to cook is because I love to eat. I eat like a glutton! I don't really take into consideration the calorie factor when the thing has taste factor attached to it. Obviously, hygiene is a separate issue altogether.I have a liking for all kinds of foods and cuisines. I personally like Italian, not a big fan of Chinese. Thai food is good too. But best to apne Indian Cuisines only. After all, Hum desh ke liye khaate hain. Indian food toh ekdum *Slurp* *Slurp* *Slurp*
India mein toh Guju food, Panju food, Tamilian food Ekdum Solid. The Bongs take over for the desserts. *National Integration*
But, there is no other bread that can compete with Garlic Nans in a duel and nothing as yummy as Dal Makhni and Shahi Paneer. Together the trio make an awesome combination which I don't mind eating for all the three meals.
So,*Burp* that's it *Burp* from the *Burp* Foodie Desk.

Intrinsic Inlingua

Though I've always been passionate about learning new languages, lately I have witnessed a sudden increase in my enthusiasm towards them. I hail from a background which has Sanskrit, Punjabi(the very language everyone tries to destroy in their attempt to speak it), Hindi and Gujarati attached to it though I can only speak d latter two with some fluency. Though my mother tongues remain to be Hindi and English.
I have in recent times started picking up some funny phrases or words from Bengali, and practice on the Bengali crowd of our school. They deserve a special commendation for they sportingly accept the stupid remark I make and curse me back in Bengali! Bingo! Here I learn another word for them and set out on my endeavor to find out what that means. I have been learning the 'tongue rolling' language under the tutelage of Guru Suhasini Krishnan, Guru Priyanka Banerjee and Guru Ishan Roy. Some words I picked up today were:
Nongra Kukoor= Ganda kutta
Bhalo Bhedal= Achhi Billi(HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!)
Ghoda'r Dheem= Horse ki poop

The other language that I fluently converse in and can read only a 'leeeeetle beeet'(in the French style) is Gujarati. The first thing that I've been asked to do by people when they find out that I speak in Gujarati is to say 'Kem Cho?' I mean Gujarati isn't limited to just 'How are you?' It's a goddamn language people!(Didn't I just sound like Su?). The second thing on their agenda is to ask me to say something in 'The' language as if I carry a set of phrases to say in front of people. Atleast be decent enough to give me a line to speak or maybe some words? For this reason(and for acting miserly at times) my friends like to call me Gujju Seth!

The remains of a half built French building can still be traced in me which is crumbling day by day. My three year stint with French has left me with a legacy of a handful of words sans grammar. The brief period gave me just a glimpse of the language that has against its name one of the oldest literatures. The thing which still puzzles me is that why do they not have proper words for 70,80 and 90? I have known one 'French Fanatic', a die hard French lover who virtually worships French. Mademoiselle Gauri is one person who is always so excited about the French . The language topper knows way too much about France and the French culture than even the French themselves do I believe. She ardently collects French magazines and her latest tally is 21.

Another language that fascinates me alot is Urdu. Actually, it isn't Urdu but Urdu poetry that I genuinely wish to read and understand. The poems written by distinguished poets like Mirza Ghalib, Bahadur Shah 'Zafar', Zauq or the more contemporary ones like Javed Akhtar and Gulzar have enticed me lately. I wish I knew some of the language so that I too could write maybe just a beautiful Couplet.

These are the languages that I know or wish to know. I didn't really touch upon any of the International languages but there aren't many that I would like to learn as compared to the Indian ones. It is a matter of pride for me that all over the world, countries have one language they speak but India can boast of not 1 or 2 languages but 28 recognized ones and another maybe 100 which are spoken around the subcontinent.

Dharma Kshetra: Kurukshetra

Truth always Triumphs is what we learn from our epics but the path, is seldom easy. I write today about the Indian Epic I like the most, Mahabharat. It is not my religious inclination that makes me write this today but my sheer fascination for the story, its characters and the way it has been written.
I am well aware that this post will only have a handful of readers and an even lesser number of comments, but that doesn't deter me from continuing. Also, Summing the entire Epic Poem wouldn't be possibly for me, still an amateur writer.
The story follows the events which lead to the Kurukshetra War between the two sparring factions of the Kuru Brothers. The Hastinapur kingdom had to be divided into two, to accommodate the two brothers.

Pandavas, the rightful successors of Hastinapur, who ruled Indraprastha, were unlawfully beaten in a game of die and sent to the forests for 12 years in exile and one year of exile in disguise. This cheating wasn't new to them as previous attempts to kill and dethrone them had been made. Duryodhana, to insult his rivals had stooped down to insulting Draupadi and publically de robing her. In all his evil actions he was accompanied by Shakuni, Dushasana and Karna.
The enmity existed  since Childhood but the major conspiracies began with the burning of house in Varnavrata, cheating during the game of die, indecency with Draupadi,etc. Duryodhana's lust for Power had reached d apex point where he was ready to lay down lives of innocents so that he does not have to give up half the kingdom to the rightful owners(He even refused to give the Pandavas 5 villages in exchange of their demand for Indraprastha).

Bhishma fell on the 10th day of the war when his body was shot with multiple arrows by Arjun, but he only died after the war had ended as he was bound by a vow, given by him to his father. He lay on a bed of arrows for 8 days in the battlefield. The war eventually ended in The Pandavas victory and Yudhishtira was crowned the King. 

My Favorite Characters in the Story are Bhishma, Vidur and Krishna. Their views and their undying attempts to stop the war must be commended. Their logics to defend what they said, and the very trait that they spoke only the amount required moved me. Bhishma, who regarded Hastinapur as his mother, tried to Pacify things and prevent the destruction which would eventually destroy his beloved Kingdom. He had been under the tutelage of Parashuram who was a renowned warrior, and Bhishma was considered to be a Flawless Combatant.
I would also like to mention my appreciation towards Karna for the chivalrous person he was. He always felt indebted towards Duryodhana for considering him a friend and crowning him the Kings of Anga, the reason why he never left Duryodhana's side. He was a Charitable man and always eager for a war. He had to bear a lot of insult for being brought up by a Charioteer. His love and respect for his friend was such that even after finding out that he was Kunti's eldest son that he could eventually be the King of Hastinapur, he refused to side with the Pandavas, the reason being that he was indebted by Duryodhana. 

Dhritrashtra's love for his son had blinded him and thwarted all efforts made by all the well wishers to stop what was eventually destined to happen. No threating or warning could made by sages, his ministers, wife, charioteer could move him and stop his son.
The war itself couldn't be fought without malpractices. The rules were flouted by both the sides. The Pandavas always shielded their acts by citing previous instances wherein the Kaurvas had not kept there word. An example would be where Abhimanyu, Arjun's son was murdered by multiple people at once where as it had been decided that only a duel would take place between two warriors.

The reason why I score Mahabharata over Ramayana would be because of it's relevance in today's time. At a time when brother's are running after each other's life, in a world dominated by materialism, the story seems so apt even today. The cruelties being committed on Women shows that there respect and image in society has stagnated ever since. It also shows the differences which exist in every family big or small, and the presence of protagonists and antagonists.  There is something to learn in every small incident and word spoken by someone.
Another thing that influences me is that every character unlike Ramayana has a shade of grey. Like reality, there are goods and bads in everyone's personality. In Ramayana one either has a white shade, when every trait of his is good or he's demonized for his negatives.

The Epic also gave the Hindus their Sacred Book, the Bhagvat Gita.
I would advise the avid readers to read the book and the Non avid readers to atleast watch it on TV. It would actually be better if everyone watches it on the TV, because the complexity in the story and the number of characters can surely confuse anyone.